(This post was difficult for me to write and share. It is very real, honest and vulnerable as I am still dealing with all of the emotions from the experience. I share this story in the hopes that it will encourage other mommas who may find themselves in a similar situation and for moms to be to let them know that it's great to have a birth plan but to be prepared for anything to happen.)
When I started down the crunchy road it was to help with my chronic stomach issues. Since then I've attempted to sprinkle the granola throughout my every day life. So when I found out that I was pregnant I knew immediately that I wanted to have an all natural, intervention free birth for my baby. Throughout my pregnancy I was dedicated to eating well, maintaining my daily exercise regimen and reading up on natural birth pain management techniques. I talked to moms that had given birth completely intervention free, moms that had some drugs, and a few that were medicated for their entire labor and delivery. I wanted to know as much as I could, and by the time I reached 36 weeks I was ready for baby to arrive. Mentally I was over reading about everything and wanted it to just happen. Physically I was tired of being uncomfortable and was ready to hold that big ol' boy outside of the womb.
The day of his arrival finally came, nice and early. I woke up at 5am with contractions coming steady every 11 minutes. An hour later the contractions were consistently every eight minutes. By 8am my contractions were holding steady every 4 minutes. It wasn't anything too painful. I was just trying to ignore them at this point, but was excited and hoping things would continue progressing quickly. As God would have it, I had a doctor's appointment that morning, so I called Mr Peach to come home and drive me as I figured it wouldn't the best idea to drive while having contractions.
My bag of waters broke at the doctors office and my OB informed me I was 3cm dilated. At this point I wanted to go home until my labor became more active, but Mr Peach was more comfortable going ahead and making the trip to the hospital. We had packed my bag in the car with us, just in case, so I conceded to going to the hospital, after a trip to Publix for some snacks and frozen yogurt.
As much as I wanted to labor in the comfort of my own home, I am grateful that we got to the hospital before my contractions became too intense just for the sake of having to fill out all the paperwork!
From the time we got to the hospital, I never looked at the clock and didn't ask to be checked to see how far along I was. I wanted to listen to my body, tune in, focus on letting it do what it was created to do. Once contractions became really painful Mr Peach stepped in and was the perfect birthing coach and partner. I think he was worried I might break his hands with how hard I was squeezing them,
and with my hand still sore a week later I understand where he might have gotten that idea. I was so thankful for all of my research and working out because I felt confident in my body and knew I was going to be able to do this.
Fifteen hours into my labor I was starting to get anxious to get baby out. I finally asked my midwife to check my progress and she told me I was at an eight.
Great, I thought, he was going to be here soon! Three hours later and my contractions were coming two or three in a row with no breaks in between. My body was wearing down and I was getting mentally exhausted. When my midwife told me I hadn't made any progress since she last checked me I broke down mid contraction and started crying.
I knew at that point that my plans had to change. As much as I wanted to bring my baby into the world without intervention my midwife knew that if I continued in this manner I would end up with a cesarean section delivery.
We discussed what my options were and decided the best, least invasive route would be to get an epidural in the hopes of letting me rest while my body kept working and progressing so that I would have the strength to push my baby out. After an hour with the epidural I was told that my contractions weren't strong enough to progress me past an eight. At this point my midwife was getting a little concerned because my water had been broken for so long and she didn't want to risk me or the baby getting an infection.
One of my worst birthing fears was coming true. Not only did I now have an epidural, I was being told that if I wanted to have a vaginal delivery I was going to have to get a pitocin drip.
Another intervention. In that moment all I could think of was everything that I had read and heard about how horrible pitocin is for you and your baby. I was broken, but I knew it had to be done for the sake of myself and my baby, so I agreed, as long as they used the lowest possible dose.
Pitocin is no joke. Even with my epidural, I felt every contraction from the time I got the drip. I was disappointed, in pain and exhausted. So when my midwife came in and said I had progressed enough to push I was elated. I was finally going to meet my baby! Two and a half hours of pushing, an episiotomy and 4th degree tear later Baby Peach entered the world. However, as soon as he was placed on my chest he was whisked away by a team of nurses.
And I freaked out. Where was my baby and why don't I hear him crying? He had sucked in meconium upon delivery. But they did a wonderful job making sure he didn't breathe any into his lungs.
Finally, 24 hours after going into labor my baby was finally in my arms. It wasn't the way I had planned. It wasn't what I had wanted, at all.
But holding my little boy, kissing his sweet face, it made it all completely worth it. He was here. He was healthy. That was the end goal after all.
I couldn't have done it without Mr Peach. He was by my side the whole time encouraging me and helping me breathe through every contraction. Urging me to go on when I was wanting to give up because of the pain. Completely understanding and supportive when I had to give in to interventions. Physically helping me push when the time came.
I don't deserve him and am so proud that my little man has him as his daddy.
Baby Peach's birth story is not what I had planned or prepared for. But it is what it is. I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed that I wasn't able to have an intervention free birth with him.
I am disappointed and upset with my body. But, even if I knew ahead of time how it would happen, I would do it all over again. Because him being here, healthy and happy, is more important than how he got here.
(Every birth story is different. Every mom's experience is unique. While an intervention free vaginal delivery is ideal, at the end of the story, as long as a healthy baby enters the world, that is ultimately all that matters, regardless of how it comes about. While it was my desire to have an unmedicated birth, I pass no judgement on anyone whose opinion differs. In the end we are all mothers who love our babies.)
